Nightmares of Technology - Sexting

With school starting right around the corner and interaction occurring more often between friends, the amount of sexting is going to be on the rise again!

If you are unaware what sexting is, sexting is sending sexually explicit pictures or messages through mobile phones. 

It seems like only sexting happens with other kids No no no-couldn't be your darling angel could it? Well - yes, it could be! So here is some facts about sexting and ways parents can combat it.  Also, how parents can stress the long term issues the teen may face from sexting.  Parents can confront their children about the effects of sexting as long as the teen is approached in a relaxed, open dialogue situation!

First. here some statistics about sexting:

The percent of teenagers who have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves:*

• 20% of teenagers overall
• 22% of teen girls
• 18% of teen boys
• 11% of young teen girls ages 13-16

The percent of teenagers sending or posting sexually suggestive messages:

• 39% of all teenagers
• 37% of teen girls
• 40% of teen boys

Parents:

- If you have caught your child sending nude or sexually suggestive pictures of themselves, make sure to put an end to it immediately!

- Explain the legal ramification of sending or receiving nude pictures in regard of child pornography. It can be seen as a felony as well as possible registration as a sex offender.

- Stay CALM! Be SUPPORTIVE! LISTEN to their situation and why they feel it is acceptable behavior.  Also try to discover if this is a cause of teen "romance" or could be potentially an harassment situation.

Teens: 

- If you have received a sexting picture, DO NOT RESEND IT! You can be charged with distributing child pornography.  Also, why would you send it on? Would you really want your nude picture sent to another person?

- It truly can ruin your reputation, friendships, and general happiness.  (See story below...)

- If your boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring you to send pictures this can be harassment.  Any person who loves you will not want you to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.

Rose:

This is absolutely a true story.  My younger sister sent a picture of herself in her underwear to a boy she liked who pressured her into doing so.  He then sent the picture to a few of his friends who then told her friends about it.  Her good friends stopped talking to her.  Parents found out and did not allow their daughters to hang out with her anymore.  She began cutting herself.  The only way we found out is from my mom dropping her off from an orthodontist appointment and the counselor pulled my mom into her office to explain about rumors circulating around about Rose.  A student had notified the counselor about the pictures being passed around of Rose.  We are then explained she could have been sent to juvenile detention and charged with child pornography if she had been completely nude.

In the end it got so bad and she was so distracted from it, her grades and athletic ability really suffered.  Rose ended up switching schools to a small private school because she had a hard time focusing in the public school after everything.  Rose has had a major improvement in attitude, grades, athletics, and general happiness since she switched schools.  However, it really did ruin her life for a few months there and she had a very difficult time recovering.

Rose comes from an upper class, white, loving, 2-parent home.  She is a statistic but not a stereotype.

If you have any questions, want some more information, or just talk about sexting in your teens life feel free to call anytime at 325-597-7644 or email me (Corrie) at candrews@thehavenfamilyshelter.org

*http://www.pcsndreams.com/Pages/Sexting_Statistics.html

Top 10 Reasons to Volunteer!

1. When you stay home you get too many telemarketing calls.
2. Your family could use a break from you.
3. You might need help yourself some day.
4. It's hard to win a game of solitaire.
5. Soap operas all sound alike.
6. If you don't go out each day, you get old.
7. Why let your boss have all the fun in life?
8. The car needs a workout.
9. Your mom would be proud of you.
10. Who cares about money?

Elementary Programs - No longer just "Stranger Danger"

First off, my name is Corrie Andrews and I am the volunteer coordinator at The Haven.  Aside from taking care of the volunteers, I am also in charge of outreaching to community in order to raise awareness the reality of domestic violence, sexual assault, and family violence in our community.  These subjects aren't fun, but they can be eliminated and understood more through community awareness and programs to educate the community. 

It is really important for The Haven to start at school level so that the students can be educated on all different levels.  SO here is what I am thinking for the younger elementary kids in order for them to learn not so much about the "STRANGER DANGER!" but more about what a good touch is and a bad touch is and how to interpret a confusing touch.

Good touch will make you feel:
- Good about who you are
-Affirmed
- Cared for
-Supported

Bad Touch will make you feel:
- Harmed
- Disregarded
- Pain
- In danger

Confusing Touch will make you feel:
- Confused
- Mixed up
-Uncomfortable

This program will go through all the different type of touches and have the students respond so they can identify what each touch is outside of school.  Also students will be taught that help will be given from teachers, counselors, parents, and trusted adults if the child needs to tell what has been happening to them is abuse is present. 

This seems simple enough but at a young age, it is difficult for a child to determine what is appropriate and what is not.  Approximately 80% of child abuse is perpetrated by a parent or caregiver.
That is a scary statistic that makes the programs so important to teach how to distinguish what type of touch the child receiving is as well as teaching that child how to report a touch that is bad or even confusing to them.  The Haven and me are really dedicated to helping the community out at all levels and not just after the incident happens. 

If anyone is interested in helping with impletmenting programs or would like more information on the specifics of this program please feel free to call me (Corrie) at 325-597-7644 or email me at: HavenVolunteer.Corrie@gmail.com!





The statistic is from this site:
http://childabuse.org/Page.aspx?pid=232

The need of The Haven in our community

The mission of The Haven is to reduce the incidence and the impact of domestic violence and/or sexual assault in McCulloch, Mason, and Menard Counties, Texas and surrounding areas by providing services and support that empower victims to rebuild their lives and regain their dignity within a safe and caring community. 

The Haven offers an assortment of services:
- Crisis Intervention
- Hotline
- Safe House/ Shelter
- Legal Advocacy
- Personal Advocacy
- Information/ Referral
-Therapy
- Follow up
- Emergency Assistance
- Medical Assistance

This blogs mission is to keep the community up to date with the efforts of The Haven to prevent abuse as well as help those who are currently abused or have previously been abused. 

In Texas alone:
-74% of all Texans have experiences or have a family member or friend who has encountered family violence.

-47% of all Texans have personally experienced family violence

- 31% of all Texans have been severly abused either physically or sexually.

- 5% of all abused adults are men.

- Approximately 33% of all women seen in emergency rooms have been recently battered.

- Approximately 60% of family violence cases also involve substance abuse.


What we are doing in the community for future prevention of abuse:

The Haven is currently establishing and creating programs that can be introduced at all school levels so that the warning signs of domestic violence, sexual assault, and family violence can be identified and stopped.  These programs deal with hot issues with many teenagers right now such as sexting, dating abuse, cyberbullys, and other issues that are facing teens in today's world. 

Fast Facts About Teen Dating Abuse:

 - 1 in 3 teens will experience some type of abuse in their lifetime through their romantic relationships.
- 40% of teenage girls, age 14-17, known someone their own age who has been hit or beaten by their partner.
- Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about it


How the community can help:

- Volunteer to take hotline calls on weekends and nights
- Call and ask if The Haven needs any help within the facilities
- Spread the word about the rise of abuse in teens and adults
- Call and encourage those in abusive situations to seek help and safety